no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
