Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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