just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
