I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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