maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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