last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
