How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
