just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
