He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
