You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
