i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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