Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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