Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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