Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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