took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
