put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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