We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize