Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Someone signed my nipple.
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