Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
