1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
