Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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