My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
