I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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