I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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