if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
