Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
