that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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