With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
