Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize