How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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