can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
