eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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