Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
