didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
