The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This toilet bowl is my home.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
