Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
