dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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