it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
