Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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