Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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