CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
