Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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