I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize