right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
