Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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