Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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