So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
