yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
