When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
