yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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