well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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