yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
