Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
