you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
