well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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