What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
