He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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