why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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