Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
