I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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