Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
