a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
