whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
