you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
