yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
